Someone please help me..?

i need a reason to be alive. The truth is that ever since middle school began my life had no purpose. I'm even considering suicide. and for those of u that are going to say i'm a precious human in gods eyes, shut the f*** up..let me start from the beginning. i'm a girl who has had a moderatly happy life until middle scholl where my adopted parents let me go. My real parents were actually the in-laws of my adopted parents, but they divorced because my blood parents (who are immature freaks that i probably even INHERITED that gene from) kept fighting. You can already see how messed up my life is. my REAL aunt and uncle who i've lived with a loong time just left me for no reason with my grandmother who i've lived with for four YEARS now because they believed my dad would take their BURDEN out of their hands, and so my dad would actually treat me like his DAUGHTER. I fight with my grandma like EVERYDAY, so i also cry my eyes out everyday alone because all of my close friiends at school are not like the friends you would expect, but users. I prayed to god for a LLLOONG time now, and all that's comeout of is worse and worse. I'm believing he doesn't even exist now, since energy that comes from a dead JUST goes back to earth, and doesn't magically go into the sky(or heaven if u will), so there's no one to talk to. My mother, i only now now for five years and i'm in highschool. she suddenly appears in my life, and tries to tell me waht to do, what i will do for my future, etc. The thing is, that i once used to have this fire in me that's gone now cause whenever i tried to find myself ANYTHING that make me happy, all of the worldly circumstances tell me NO. LIKE: actress:my aunt goes out of her way to go to a fortuneteller and even PAYS her to tell me i have no future in that, doctor: my doctor grandmother says i'll never live up to her standards, designer: my mom laughs at me and says to go to some shitty community college, ANHYTHING. I'm even crying right now as i type this! also my dad doesn't even live in the same STATE as me! My mom's married to some random imature guy JUST AS immature as her, with some random 1/2 sister for MEE who's even mentally challenged. I don'e even live in the same FAMILY as her, and she forces me to visit her in the weekends with GUILT ******* TRIPS. the only reason i go is because my ******* grandma cant drive me ******* two feet from 'our' house. I just have barely average grades even when i write in my planner a hunderdd things and do the BEST I CAN. and i'm not even pretty. my friends are liars. they would say **** was gorgeous if they could benefit from this in anyway. i have too many problems to write, and this isn't even the beginning. all i know is that i, and everyone else i know in the world, would bebfit from my not being here. and since i can't stop my parents int eh past from having ******* SEX since their shitty people anyways, i'm just considering the next closest thing: death..duhh. so if anyone can tell me a reason BESIDES ******* GOD to be alive, then .....well i"m desperate so type away. also, i've tried writing my problems into a book sooo retarded outcomes. and i've called the suicide hotlines. the sad part is, even THEY didn't have a SINGLE solution to help me. The woman just stuttered and said "derrrrr---good luck? seeya bee-yotch!"